Week 1 - Pursuing
Asher Steven Krokos' Story
Austin and I tried to have kids for two and a half years to no avail. Along with many friends we were praying that God would start our family. Because God was teaching me about taking my heart whole-heartedly before Him, I started telling God that I really wanted to start a family. I was praying for a little boy, Asher Steven. In November a lot of “coincidental” things started happening. Our alarm was set to the radio to wake us up, so we found ourselves waking up every morning to a story of adoption since it was National Adoption month. Therefore most mornings in November we woke up in tears because of the touching story. Also in November, Austin spoke at a men’s retreat while the same time I spoke at a women’s retreat. Though these were separate retreats, we each had a special divine appointment with someone close to adoption. Austin spent some time with a guy who had been adopted while I spent time with a grandma of two girls who placed their babies for adoption. Both of these people were extremely supportive of adoption.
Austin and I had always wanted to adopt but we thought we would wait till we had a couple children biologically. Our hearts and minds were starting to think of the possibility of adopting now instead of later. The more we thought about it, the more excited we got. We decided to pick an agency and get information and then decide if we would go forward. January 12th we went to the informational meeting with Bethany Christian Services. On January 13th we received a surprise email from a friend saying that she knew a lady who knew a girl who was pregnant and was considering placing the baby for adoption. She was wondering if we were interested. Of course we said YES! (Though I didn't expect anything to happen)
Two weeks later this friend of ours’ church had us come speak, which happened to be very close to were the birth mom lives! So we got to meet her and hear her story of why she wanted to place the baby for adoption. During this meeting she told us her husband was not really in agreement. So, driving home we thought it would be neat but would’nt really happen. Two weeks later the birth dad calls us up and said that he thought it was the best thing to do for the baby, but couldn’t imagine moving forward without meeting us. So we drove out to have lunch with the both of them (who Austin and I both like) and had a great conversation.
The adoption was moving forward… we couldn’t believe it! During our conversation with them they had wondered about names, if we wanted their input on names. We already had names picked out so we were thinking through if we would be willing to change them. Then the birth mom says “if it is a girl, then I don’t care what you name her. But I had a brother who died when I was younger and if I ever had a boy I always wanted to name him Steven.” My mouth just dropped since I had been praying for little Asher Steven! (Asher is a Biblical name meaning Happy and Steven is my dad’s name).
After our meeting with them, we had the “hard” meeting with the adoption agency. They had to drill it into our heads that there is a 5-10% chance that she could change her mind up to two weeks after he was born. This was the hardest day of the whole process which taught me so much about God’s love. I felt the fear of laying my heart out there only for it to be ripped away. But I realized that is what God does for us. And instead of a 5% chance of laying His heart out there and not being loved back, there is a 99% chance in some countries. But He laid down His everything, willing to face the reality that He wouldn’t be loved back. Later that day, the birth mom called asking if I wanted a crib and bassinette. This was like God’s gift to me. Reminding us she was very serious about us adopting. We got to go to two ultrasounds and see little Asher on TV.
During that time the birth mom told us that she had told her two other little girls that “Austin and Laura can’t have babies of their own and God is letting me carry one for them” How awesome!! Her oldest would continually say “NO, my baby”. So, we started praying and God sure enough showed His compassion. My mom had the birth mom and the oldest daughter over for lunch and right in the middle of lunch the little girl reached over putting a hand on her mom’s belly and said “little baby Asher goes to you” as she pointed at me. My heart just about melted.
July 10th we all went in to the hospital for little Asher to be induced. Finally at 3:52pm I got to see my little baby boy enter the world. I got to be the first one to hold him while Austin came in and cut the umbillical chord. God worked it out that we got to stay in the hospital one night and across the street the next night and was able to go in the nursery to feed him. I am so grateful to the birth mom for letting me love and care for him those first days of his life. Austin and I have LOVED this journey and seen and understood God so much more through the process.
Austin and I had always wanted to adopt but we thought we would wait till we had a couple children biologically. Our hearts and minds were starting to think of the possibility of adopting now instead of later. The more we thought about it, the more excited we got. We decided to pick an agency and get information and then decide if we would go forward. January 12th we went to the informational meeting with Bethany Christian Services. On January 13th we received a surprise email from a friend saying that she knew a lady who knew a girl who was pregnant and was considering placing the baby for adoption. She was wondering if we were interested. Of course we said YES! (Though I didn't expect anything to happen)
Two weeks later this friend of ours’ church had us come speak, which happened to be very close to were the birth mom lives! So we got to meet her and hear her story of why she wanted to place the baby for adoption. During this meeting she told us her husband was not really in agreement. So, driving home we thought it would be neat but would’nt really happen. Two weeks later the birth dad calls us up and said that he thought it was the best thing to do for the baby, but couldn’t imagine moving forward without meeting us. So we drove out to have lunch with the both of them (who Austin and I both like) and had a great conversation.
The adoption was moving forward… we couldn’t believe it! During our conversation with them they had wondered about names, if we wanted their input on names. We already had names picked out so we were thinking through if we would be willing to change them. Then the birth mom says “if it is a girl, then I don’t care what you name her. But I had a brother who died when I was younger and if I ever had a boy I always wanted to name him Steven.” My mouth just dropped since I had been praying for little Asher Steven! (Asher is a Biblical name meaning Happy and Steven is my dad’s name).
After our meeting with them, we had the “hard” meeting with the adoption agency. They had to drill it into our heads that there is a 5-10% chance that she could change her mind up to two weeks after he was born. This was the hardest day of the whole process which taught me so much about God’s love. I felt the fear of laying my heart out there only for it to be ripped away. But I realized that is what God does for us. And instead of a 5% chance of laying His heart out there and not being loved back, there is a 99% chance in some countries. But He laid down His everything, willing to face the reality that He wouldn’t be loved back. Later that day, the birth mom called asking if I wanted a crib and bassinette. This was like God’s gift to me. Reminding us she was very serious about us adopting. We got to go to two ultrasounds and see little Asher on TV.
During that time the birth mom told us that she had told her two other little girls that “Austin and Laura can’t have babies of their own and God is letting me carry one for them” How awesome!! Her oldest would continually say “NO, my baby”. So, we started praying and God sure enough showed His compassion. My mom had the birth mom and the oldest daughter over for lunch and right in the middle of lunch the little girl reached over putting a hand on her mom’s belly and said “little baby Asher goes to you” as she pointed at me. My heart just about melted.
July 10th we all went in to the hospital for little Asher to be induced. Finally at 3:52pm I got to see my little baby boy enter the world. I got to be the first one to hold him while Austin came in and cut the umbillical chord. God worked it out that we got to stay in the hospital one night and across the street the next night and was able to go in the nursery to feed him. I am so grateful to the birth mom for letting me love and care for him those first days of his life. Austin and I have LOVED this journey and seen and understood God so much more through the process.